so i guess this is what i gotta do

"he kissed my lips, i taste your mouth"

so i hung out with this guy last night and he’s really cute, unbelievably sweet and such a gentleman. so what’s the problem, then? all i could think about is you. wishing it was you. wishing i was kissing you. wtf is wrong with me.. i guess i will just smile and tell my friends i met this amazing guy and he makes me smile.. even though all i still want is you.. and it makes no sense because you suck and talk to me every now and then.. why do you have such a spell over me.. i don’t get it.

it’s kinda funny…

when i first met you… you were insanely into me.. and i really wasn’t into you… i knew you liked me so i gave you a chance.. and i fell for you… hard… Honestly, you are the funniest, sweetest guy i’ve ever known.. when you aren’t with your friends… but you are also the biggest asshole i have ever encountered and i just wish you had never spoke a word to me so i wouldn’t be so sad about this now.. i didn’t have high hopes that you would follow through with your plans for July .. but i always have that little bit of hope that maybe this time will be different… but once again… you suck.

can’t believe

just realized we have hooked up EVERY month of this school year except December ( which we were only here for a few weeks anyways because of break).. what the hell am i doing? why can’t i simply forget you and get you out of my mind.. why do you always come back to me? it’s not like i’m reaching out to you. i’ve been trying SO hard to forget you and get over you and just when i think i am over you, you ALWAYS come right back. it’s like you know. and i thought you have all these girls now. so why can’t you go to them. my roommate told me its probably because you are lonely.. which i am too.. which doesnt help.. it sucks because all i want is you and i wish you weren’t such an asshole because i probably would with you. you make me feel sooo safe and it just feels right when i’m with you. i just wish things were different.

i can’t help but think…

i try so hard to move on.. think about other people.. be with other people.. but it all makes me just think of you and how much i feel for you. i know you care about me too.. it’s just something you know without any reason. i miss you. and i want “us” back. I know you can be a real asshole. you have admitted that to me but you also said you are sorry and that no matter what happens, you will always care about me. i just wish things were different.